Praise the almighty church of Maelrawn the Tentacular!
May he have mercy on our souls.
All hail, all worship Maelrawn, our one true abyssal God!
The eddies of our puny, vertebrae minds cannot hope to understand his tentacles!
Hail Maelrawn, the one who cracked the shell of the world and created the first whirlpool!
Praise Maelrawn the tentacular, the lurker of the deep, may his enemies be sucked down in spirals!
May his tentacles guide me, for I am blind and lost.
May his beak speak the wisdom of the deep to me, for I am lame and empty.
May none escape the spirals, the pull of his waves, for they are undeserving of his mercy.
Not even the land may save them for the Tentacular's reach knows no end.
May the whirlpool grow to encompass the denizens of the shallows and beyond, may their corpses make sufficient substance for Maelrawn's beak.
Erase those who do not submit, for Maelrawn the Tentacular is the ruler of the deep, lurker of the whirlpool, the one whose beak cracked the shell of this planet, the one whose reach is infinite, the one who the tides recede too, the one who the eddies swirl for, the one the spirals lead to, the one the deep listens to, the one who stalks the shallows, the one, true abyssal God, the one whose mercy we can only hope to have.
Are you with me, do you worship the one true ruler?
So ends the first preaching of the Church of the Tentacular, our lord, Maelrawn.