Maelrawn the Tentacular, the Church Begins [Tidehunter]

[DoctorD]

Fools, art thou too blind to see,
That thine Dead Gods are no match for me?
And ye, for though I doth speak in verse,
It is all magic that I vowed to disperse.

And lo, behold, what doth I see?
A church devoted to vile sorcery!
Such foul evil, it shall not stand,
The end of thy life is what I demand.
And not just thine, but of thy god too,
With the power to makest but drops of dew.

My soul is pure, my will unswayed,
For the monks of Turstarkuri I doth swing my blade.
And thy church shall fall, thy magic be dashed,
Maelrawn shall die afore he barely splashed.

So cease thy magics, for they doth wreak war,
And troublest not the pure of heart no more.
And renounce thy god, of whom you know naught,
Before others suffer what thou hath wrought.
Or thou shalt find, sooner than thou thinks,
My blades at thy heart with a couple of blinks.

This warning I send so thou mayest understand,
I wish not to kill, but thou art forcing my hand.
Call off thy church, thy god, and his wicked ways,
Or thou shall soon learn how thine sorcery pays.

[Ragekeeper]

These epic rhymes should be added to the Dota 2 heros lore.

[samich]

What to rhyme with magina.. thats a little to easy,
the dribble you sprout is making me queazy,
Faith causes wars, but my fighting is just,
Keeping darkness at bay and not mere bloodlust,

A war against faith, you're a laughable fool,
my beliefs are my weapons, my crutches, my tool
"My heart is pure" is that what you claimed?
You're the Turstarkuri heretic, I know healers you've maimed.

You denounce all sourcery but take time to think.
Thats magic you're casting, with every blink.

[Crazy Dave]

To begin, as a matter of principle, I give credit where credit is due.
Therefore: Antimage, your efforts against magic do not go unappreciated, I assure you.

Unleashed the evils of the dimensions beyond, I already have.
All your ghost stories are worth less to me than a faulty Force Staff!

Maelrawn, go back to your muddy streams.
You can keep your magic- I have Laser Beams!

Bane, I have no fear of you, I never sleep-I've salvaged all of Violet Plateau's coffee.
And as you can all see, I'm sure it's clear which of us--has the degree!

The Omniscience, a Fraud, we all know that.
I've fought headcrabs more powerful, at the Violet Plat'.

And don't even get me started on Nature's Prophet.
His pushing power, though, is strong, I'll admit.

In conclusion, good colleagues, when you receive my rocket shell
say hello to the Demon Witch for me in hell.

[vvjacobo]

posting in THE BEST EPIC THREAD ever
gj all

[Vincitatus]

To all those tales you’ve spread I’ve looked askance
Legends of blood and death, Justice and vengeance
You speak of the crushing waves in the deepest seas
Of nightmares crawling through mankind like disease

However the oceans and creatures walking on this earth
Are but a speck to the vast reaches of the universe
Oceans and dreams may have banished the light
But stars themselves are crushed before enigma’s might

His reach spreads to all the entities in creation
Molding it since dawn of time till maturation
Existence entire obeys his dictate
For all have felt his crushing weight

There is but one darkness spanning realms
That calls to worlds till all are overwhelmed
It is the void’s call, gathering space to his fold
Can you not feel your body slave to his hold?

[ZShock]

You all had your chances, magic followers, science defenders.
But what, what is it you can do once your essence is gone away?
True I haven't come to play yet, but prepare yourselves...
Your dreams taken! Your life stolen! And so your pain.

Soon I'll take the title once taken off of me, I'll have my revenge.
You call that a weapon? That anchor means nothing to me.
Your spits are supposed to bring something in? Try that again.
Leviathan, you've always been one single minion of the draft of a "God".

You see, my friends, once the tide truly rises up, your time's over.
I'm done shadow-dancing in the depths, as amphibian I must go.

And when I do... watch your back in the name of Slark.

[Crazy Dave]

Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a blaster at your side.-Han Solo
Just thought I'd throw that in there. Sniper would be proud.

[Jenova-]

The Skeleton King would like to chime in.


For too long now this conflict I have seen
I believe this is the moment for me to intercede

Tidehunter, your preaching has doomed you, as you will see
Make no mistake, your existence continues to be indiferent to me
However, One of your demands in my mind continues to fester
Bowing down to another being? AH! You could be my jester!

Soon enough you will learn, that fighting me is indeed in vain
And when you do, AH! it will be already too late
Your bones being nothing but an addition to my reign

And even if you defeat me, AH! That thought makes me laugh
You should hold your celebration; such a victory is not meant to last
Blessing or curse, it is beyond my grasp to know
One thing is certain, I will not dwell in the grave for long!




As for you, old and impetuous sea-farer
From what I see, with this fish you have a quarrel
yet catching my attention might prove to be your biggest mistake thus far
Since I have perceived something that I cannot just let slide

You see, the longevity spell cast upon me makes greater
All the negative feelings that in my human body took shelter
Thus the envy I now feel is clearly unsurpassable
Burning stronger than I even believed possible!

For you possess a pair of something that I would like to have
But even though I miss them, they are a luxury I can live without!
Because even without them there is no doubt I succeed
To me, being the manliest is an easy title to keep!



Bonersterone references coming next. Also, this is thread is awe-fucking-some.

[Swordz]

Wait, i don't get it, why is this thread stickied? What's the purpose of it?

I AM CONFUSED