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Thread: Techies Lore attempt

  1. #1
    Basic Member Vincitatus's Avatar
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    Techies Lore attempt

    Here's basically an idea I had for Techies lore-wise (might had possible responses and voice-lines later)

    As wars raged across the lands, many were driven out of their home and condemned to wander the world. One such group, lost among the steep hills of Ragash, found against all odds a miracle: a wondrous city, with high ramparts but completely void of inhabitants, lay opened before them. Dubbed Syrac, It became an impregnable refuge for those seeking respite from struggle and death.

    It is in this mysterious place that Squee, Spleen, Spoon and Slam were born. And while most just accepted Syrac as a home, the four Techies, with their passion for mechanics, sought to plumb its mysteries. In all its nooks and crannies, they found odd but useless devices: the Techies subsequently broke, studied, and reassembled them countless times, till slowly, they began to understand their nature, rediscovering sources of light and energy. But their biggest find lay in a battered building near the wall: studying the odd inert chemicals inside the contraptions, they knew they had found the armory. After months of gleeful experimentation, the Techies were now recreating countless weapons of destruction. Many citizens saw folly in this, but when a band of barbarians come to ransack the city were decimated by the Techies devices, most kept silent. Syrac now feared no armies with its high walls and the Techies mine field.

    Word quickly spread of the town’s might, until they reached the ever-expanding Empire of Bones. Ostarion saw in Syrac’s technology the opportunity to strengthen his empire, and soon one of the greatest undead armies the world had ever known were assembled before it’s gates. Time and again the undead horde charged towards the town’s walls, and every time they were blown to pieces. The Siege lasted for months with neither side relenting, but deceit can often accomplish what force cannot, and even refugees can be bought. On a dark night, the Techies battle plans were stolen and sent to the Undead King: the army waded through the traps and Ostarion himself tore a hole through the wall. As the skeletons rampaged through town, Squee, Spleen and Spoon helped evacuate the inhabitants into hidden catacombs. Slam, however, had other plans. Refusing to let Syrac’s secrets come into undead hands, he made his way to the armory, bombing undead along the way, till he reached the armory, and with a maniacal glee, lit a match.

    A horrific explosion shook through the entire mountains. When the three remaining Techies removed the wreckage above their hiding place, nothing was left but shambles and scattered bones. The remaining Techies, with their remaining kinsmen, now search for a new home as their forebears did. Though they may have lost their city, they stand ready to lay down their lives to protect the survivors and to ensure the secrets of Syrac do not fall in evil hands.

    Techies responses

    To make it less cumbersome, Squee will be shortened to q, Spleen to p and Spoon to o
    As far as personnalities go, Spoon is the most reasonable of them, Spleen is a fighter, and Squee is the most... enthusiastic.

    Spawn
    o: Ready p: Set... q: Go!
    o: So, you want fireworks? q: I like the sound of that!
    p: Time to fight! q: Otherwise called Explosion time!
    q: Time to prove the big bang theory!

    Moving
    o: Steady with that...
    p: Out of the way!
    o: Careful, don't want to drop this....
    q: Hey guys, How about we rig up some transport?
    o: Minefield of sight
    o+p+q: *imitating minesweeper sounds*

    Attacking

    q: Bombs away!
    p: Let me at em!
    q: Boom! Booom!

    Last Hit
    p: Mine! q: You mean- Ah, I get it!

    Deny
    o: Deee q+p: Wait for it... o: Nied!
    o: D-9 cartridges!

    Setting up a Land mine
    q: Ooooh I can't wait!
    p: Our neighborhood now!
    o: Remember where it is, we don't want to step on it...
    q: Nope, no mines here!
    q: This'll be fun!
    o: They won't take our land this time.
    p: Ok leave it here.... o: Caaaareful

    Setting up a Stasis Trap

    o: We don't want them to leave now do we?
    p: What? I don't like moving targets....
    q: Wait, so this DOESN'T blow up? Where's the fun in that?

    Casting Suicide Squad, Attack!

    o: Ok, light us up! p: My pleasure
    o: Not going to go down that easy!
    p: We're bringing you the pain!
    o: All for one? q: All attack!
    o: The best way to end... q: With a BANG!
    All: Do not run, we are your friends!
    All: Remember remember, the fifth of November!
    p:Going out... q:With a BANG!

    Casting Remote mines
    o: ok, this one here... Show me that map again.
    p: I'll just leave this here
    q: When do I get to press the switch? o: Soon my friend
    p: Trying to get our turf? I don't think so.

    Killing a hero with land/remote mines
    o: Oh didn't see that did you?
    p: Watch your step!
    q: BOOOM, BOOOM!
    o: Compliments from Syrac!
    o: I'd start investing in gems p: And a brain.
    o: The bigger they are... Actually they all explode.
    q: What, you don't like fireworks? I do!
    q: Shouldn't sweep through our mines....
    p: How does it feel, to be a 1million pieces puzzle?
    o: I totally forgot we planted those... [giggle]
    p: Watch your step. q: Hey, stop helping them.

    Killing a hero with Suicide Squad, Attack!

    q: Woooorth iiiit....
    p: Bringing you down with us...
    o: Techies p: For q: Eveeeer

    Suddenly relocated (tiny toss)

    o: Here p:We... q:GO!
    All: Fire in the hole!
    All: Bombs away!
    p: Bringing the pain!

    Killing a rival

    o: B5! q: Sunk!
    q: Oooh look, a jigsaw puzzle o: No, you DO NOT put it together
    o: veni p: vidi q: EXPLODEY
    o: For Syrac p: And Slam q: you sap
    o: Can't find your bones, Ostarion? q: Oooh, I saw some flying miles away. [laughter]
    o: So sad, you sought to strengthen yourself, and only succeeded in sacking ruins.
    o: Look less where you shoot and more where you walk, Sniper
    p: It’s lads like you that give war a bad name! (Tf2 reference)
    p: Didn't you know that our mines melt armor, Clockwerk?
    p: Oooh, I’ll enjoy studying your armor o: From Scratch! q: And Scraps!
    o: So, as a fellow scientist I wanted to ask… Oh wait, he’s dead.. q: My bad!
    O: Leave chemicals to the professionals! q: We have safer procedures! P: Sort of….
    p: No suicide for you, Pudge!
    o: Even the toughest meat can be cooked, Centaur Warrunner!
    o: The spirit of the storm... p: ...blowed away!
    p: Boom! q: Now, THAT is a beautiful soun



    Meeting an Ally
    o: Today we are allies, but later... p: We have a bone to pick with you
    o: With lasers and mines p: Bombs and Missiles q: We'll blow them all away! [all laugh]

    Rare

    q:Squee! p:Spleen! o: Spoon! All: Standing ready!

    Respawn
    p: Back in and to the mix!
    o: Guess we shook too hard...
    q: Ha, let's see... New plan: More mines! [laughter]
    o: Simmer and bubble -and then q: A BIG BANG! [giggle]
    Last edited by Vincitatus; 10-26-2012 at 12:30 PM.

  2. #2
    Basic Member 1337_n00b's Avatar
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    Okay, now this is something what you could definately find in a Valve game. The wording is nigh-perfect, the same applies to the concept.



    It is just that the Skeleton King's part is excrutiatingly forced and replacing him with a different character would not have changed anything. I may not know something, but as of me... It'd be better if you came up with a character of your own there.

    Like you did with Slam. That was the perfect notch - not only does it give the story that specific feel, it also explains one of their skills. The most questionable one. This, this I like the most.

    But, again, I'd presonally really like it better if there was more personality to each of the techies. But that would likely turn the lore into a wall of text(sadly enough, I know what I'm talking about)... So, maybe, somebody would want to contribute some potential lines of dialogue. Hell, why not, two out of six suggestion that I remember already did this. It doesn't hurt, as far as I know.

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    I quite liked the way Skeleton King entered it myself, having hero rivalries within lore is always nice, especially when they still have time to work on lines, +1

  4. #4
    Basic Member thyL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vincitatus View Post
    Here's basically an idea I had for Techies lore-wise (might had possible responses and voice-lines later)
    A very good attempt, I must say. Loving it!

    I'm with 133_n00b though, the SK part is very well written but the character and country are pretty much replacable with every other hero or character. How come you thought of the Skeleton King as rival, mainly because he's Dire?
    On the other hand, I can't think of another Dire hero atm, who would fit better in your story -although I do had idea that it could've been a part of Tinkers (or even Snipers) tribe that wanted to take over the town. It would be difficult to legitimate the use of force then, though. Maybe they weren't satisfied with other people having similar technology?

    The part with Slam is awesome, by the way. When I started reading, I was pretty sure he'd be a traitor and that he's the reason behind the city getting run over and for the Techies to fight the Dire (because for reason xyz it's the Dires fault that Slam turned his back on his brothers). ^^

  5. #5
    Basic Member TheWilder's Avatar
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    Well written
    Quote Originally Posted by vladhood View Post
    boy im glad all these qualified and educated game designers have come to the forums to help dota 2 grow

  6. #6
    Basic Member Vincitatus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1337_n00b View Post
    It is just that the Skeleton King's part is excrutiatingly forced and replacing him with a different character would not have changed anything.
    Though it's true that in the end result the Empire of Bones is rather interchangeable with any power hungry empire, I initially wanted to give a bit more depth to SK's entrance, however since the lore was already rather long, I had to cut some things to make it more concise.
    The reasons why I liked SK, is he's basically presented as a great ever expanding kingdom (like an undead Roman empire^^), and is probably responsible for some of the Syrac refugees in the first place. Also, from a scenaristic point of view, if any other empire would have attacked the city, it would be difficult to warrant Slam completely destroying their hometown without insisting that the attacking empire would do great harm if it won over the Techies technology. However, by making it the Empire of Bones, the reader already knows that it's better for a city to die than allowing SK to win. In the original version, I was going to mention that many had tried to attack Syrac, but only an undead army was fearless enough to make a long siege out of it.
    Also, SK, with his one active skill and ultimate, is one of the biggests emblems in dota 2 of raw martial might, while Techies require much preparation and planning, giving the story a slight Brain/Brawn side. Finally, I thought it was interesting to make the character with the greatest sense of self-sacrifice (except maybe Huscarl) be the nemesis of the one character who refuses to die.

    As for giving them different personalities, that couldn't fit inside the lore, but definitely seems like a good thing to do as far as voice responses go.

    To Thyl, that idea with Slam had occured to me, but it seemed to me it'd have made the story too bleak, while I see Techies as a rather gleeful, dynamic (though slightly insane) sort. Making the fourth Techie end with a blast seemed more fitting^^
    Last edited by Vincitatus; 05-18-2012 at 02:21 PM.

  7. #7
    Basic Member thyL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vincitatus View Post
    To Thyl, that idea with Slam had occured to me, but it seemed to me it'd have made the story too bleak, while I see Techies as a rather gleeful, dynamic (though slightly insane) sort. Making the fourth Techie end with a blast seemed more fitting^^
    You are definitely right on that one! ^^

    Valve should take your attempt as inspiration (or just copy and use it) -and start working on Techies immediately.

  8. #8
    Basic Member El Maiz's Avatar
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    Valve should hire you.

    Seriously, this is amazing. If, for whatever reason, Skeleton King needs to be changed, I think the Legion of the Dead God would work there too.

  9. #9
    Basic Member Vincitatus's Avatar
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    Starting to add some voice lines now, more on the way.
    @ El Maiz: I like SK better as an antagonist, however scenaristically you're quite right, the Legion could do the trick, since they would also be unrepentantly dangerous and hard to stop, good idea.

  10. #10
    Basic Member 1337_n00b's Avatar
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    I'll leave a few nitpicks.
    o: Remember where it is, we don't want to step on it... - Generally misleading. Techies can step on their own mines, and so can their allies - everyone knows that, but any new players could get confused.
    o: Ok leave it here.... Caaaareful - The second line should be said by an other techie.
    Casting Suicide Squad, Attack! - You have no right to leave "Do not run! We are your friends!" out, it is not copyrighted.
    o: We die, so others may live. - A bit too much pathos for a hero like them.
    And, actually, I'd like to suggest a couple of lines myself. I really liked the concept.

    Last Hit
    Spl: Mine! Sq: You mean- Ah, I get it.

    Deny
    Spo: Deee- Sq, Spl: Wait for it, wait for it... Spo: -nied!
    Spl: D-9 cartridges!

    Movement
    Spo: Minefield of sight.
    Sq, Spl, Spo: *imitating minesweeper sounds*
    Spo: Watch your step. Sq: I'm still holding it. Spo: That's why I'm warning you.

    Enemy Hero Activates Mines
    Sq: Somebody's gonna need his insurance bill.
    Spl: Watch your step. Sq: Hey, stop helping them.

    And, in my opinion, there should be separate lines for respawning and respawning after a hero was killed with Suicide Squad.

    Aside from that, even if the lore itself won't make it, I'm really looking forward to hearing that Kunkka line in-game. Had a good laugh.

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