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Banehallow (A try at lore)

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  • Banehallow (A try at lore)

    In a small village outside the Forest of Tears, there once lived a happy family: a mother, a father and a teenager son by the name of Narm. During winter, the father went hunting to the forest to gather some food, wood and other supplies for the family. Days passed, and no sign was seen of the father's return. Narm himself went to look for his father. He found a campsite, a still burning campfire and a grave sight near a burnt tree - a mangled, half eaten, smoldering corpse of a man that Narm once called 'father'. In his grief, Narm ran back home crying. The family was now broken and shrouded in sadness.

    And so, a forest demon known as Ash'nozga quickly found it's way to the village and became fond of the sadness wreaking from the house. Skulking around, Ash'nozga plotted, until one cold winter night. That night, the demon rose up and spawned hellfires in the village, burning everything that stood in it's way, while also ripping villagers apart limb from limb. It approached the house where Narm lived, only to find it empty. Filled with rage, the forest demon followed the snow tracks only to find itself in a den of dire wolves. The wolves fiercely defended the family and attacked the demon, but they were quickly overpowered. Ash'nozga swiftly made it's way to Narm, impaled him on it's own arm and threw him on the ground. Laughing at Narm and his mother, the demon told the teenager that 'it had a fun time playing with his father' and vanished in a cloud of smoke. But that night was the night of the Blood Moon. And somehow it's energies joined in the spirits of Narm and the fallen wolves, creating a terrifying monster - half man, half wolf. The monster was no longer Narm - it's name now was Banehallow. It escorted the mother to the town of Tiroen and left, never to be seen again.

    Some say that they've seen it, along with a pack of wolves, stalking people near the villages north of the Forest of Tears, in the tundras. Some say they sometimes see an enormous wolf-creature shambling around the forest. Some reports mention disappearing villagers. But many don't believe those rumors, saying that they're only fairy tales. Little do they all know about the reality of those rumours, and that the real creator of the lycanthrope is still out there, waiting to return.

    EDIT: Edited the story a bit.
    Last edited by setuxas; 02-06-2012, 02:26 PM.
    Brainwashing people is fun.

  • #2
    Doesn't explain why he would be evil, the story makes it even more likely he would join radiant

    Comment


    • #3
      Forgot to mention it, sorry. I added a few lines which state how he became evil.
      Brainwashing people is fun.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quite good, but it doesn't really have the 'feel' of most Dota2 Hero's lore right now.
        Also maybe you can add "the death visage of the demon twisting his mind apart" or something like that

        Comment


        • #5
          Changed that part in the 3rd paragraph similary to your suggestion ^^; thanks for the feedback
          Brainwashing people is fun.

          Comment


          • #6
            A rather dramatic story, only it lacks some... Originality, I dunno? Anywhoo, it's not up to me to decide if your story is decent. The one thing that got me was the boy's name. Lawl, Narm.
            Heroes this user should seriously reconsider ever picking again.

            THE DOTA 2 LORE MEGATHREAD IS TO BE UPDATED BY JULY 5TH

            Visit the Dota 2 Lore Megathread. Renovation ongoing.

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            • #7
              Come to think of it, the Demon things made him more likely to get into Radiant side
              although that not maybe not always the case
              If you change the demon into somekind of (wicked)hunter and his father, although not, is suspected as lycanthrope thus get killed and skinned?
              just suggestion though since that change will make the story sound like another rip-offs XD

              Comment


              • #8
                Half man half wolf??? Isn't that Lycan instead of Bane?

                Simple and obvious things that should get fixed/added asap: SCOREBOARD, Ingame friend list, Different Ping for Roshan, Add Notes to Players, Accept Button while tabbed

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Luffydude View Post
                  Half man half wolf??? Isn't that Lycan instead of Bane?
                  Banehallow = Lycanthrope (not Bane Elemental)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I hope I didn't miss anything, but Clinkz's lore does not really show why that Clinkz is evil, other than being stuck in his current unholy form and filled with rage, he did save his country (or land of whatever).

                    I think it is great that not all Dire's heroes are evil, since their power is attracted to the Ancient itself, not by their ailment. Therefore, you don't really need to show why Banehallow is evil, just add something dark (which you already did).
                    "HUMAN ELEMENT"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by ShadowThanatos View Post
                      I hope I didn't miss anything, but Clinkz's lore does not really show why that Clinkz is evil, other than being stuck in his current unholy form and filled with rage, he did save his country (or land of whatever).

                      I think it is great that not all Dire's heroes are evil, since their power is attracted to the Ancient itself, not by their ailment. Therefore, you don't really need to show why Banehallow is evil, just add something dark (which you already did).
                      You are right, edited it a bit.
                      Brainwashing people is fun.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        The story could be based off a farmer and his family. being captured and tortured by enemy soldiers in a war. He escapes the torture camp and is on the verge of death due to the cold and his injuries(its winter), he stumbles upon a pack of wolves drinking from a shimmering pool under the full moon. He approaches the pool in a haze as he is thirsty and wants to drink, the wolves attack him and wound him mortally. he falls in the pool. But the pool had a shard of the mad moon within it, and his hate and scorn filled soul manifests and takes pysical form. His woulds are healed and his body is melded with the wolves of the pool. He exacts revenge against those who had tortured him, but in the process begins to enjoy inflicting harm and suffering. He submits to the lust for carnage and gore that lies deep within his soul. The Lycan is born.

                        Just an idea.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by ShadowThanatos View Post
                          I hope I didn't miss anything, but Clinkz's lore does not really show why that Clinkz is evil, other than being stuck in his current unholy form and filled with rage, he did save his country (or land of whatever).

                          I think it is great that not all Dire's heroes are evil, since their power is attracted to the Ancient itself, not by their ailment. Therefore, you don't really need to show why Banehallow is evil, just add something dark (which you already did).
                          you've got a point there. Clinkz DOES save his country though himslef did not.
                          guess you can stick with the demon setuxas
                          but I think you could still made Lycan somekind of rabid and have his mind twisted, since Clinkz though he have saved his country from demon, cursed with eternal rage.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Clinkz doesn't seem that bitter at all about the skeleton thing, though. Going by his voice lines, he still serves Sutherex (the Mage-King).

                            It might be an environment thing. Considering how 'hostile'-ish the the Bleeding Hills sounds (aside from the name, the place sounds a bit inhospitable what with all the pools of oil), their kingdom may just be aligned with the Dire because the Dire would promote the same kind of environment as the place they lived in (while the Radiant would fill it all with grass and trees).

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by shengar View Post
                              you've got a point there. Clinkz DOES save his country though himslef did not.
                              guess you can stick with the demon setuxas
                              but I think you could still made Lycan somekind of rabid and have his mind twisted, since Clinkz though he have saved his country from demon, cursed with eternal rage.
                              His mind IS twisted, but I left that out as a speculatory. I mean, when you see so much death and suffering before your eyes (he saw the mangled corpse of his father, the sight of his village burning and the people of it dying, and even after that he saw animals die before his eyes), and when you know who did all that, you would simply be consumed with rage, anger and madness. Not to mentioned I wrote that he became a 'monster'; definitely a negative attribute.
                              Brainwashing people is fun.

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