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Thread: Official Techies Lore

  1. #1
    Basic Member 1337_n00b's Avatar
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    Official Techies Lore


    "In the storied saga of Dredger's Bight, no business has ever been more reviled than Techies Demolitions. Then again, Dredger's Bight no longer exists. Nor does Toterin. Or even Trapper Town. In fact, if one were to track the history of Techies Demolitions they might notice that shortly after Techies appear, towns tend to disappear.

    Like every inevitable disaster surrounding Techies, the obliteration of Dredger's Bight began with an invention. Tasked with designing a safer way of detonating explosives in the mines beneath the city, pyrotechnic prodigies Squee, Spleen, and Spoon developed their most outlandish creation yet: a button which, when pressed, would trigger a distant device to spark a fuse. Overeager to test their invention, the trio stuffed barrel after barrel with flamesalt explosives, piling every corner of their tiny workshop high with the newly developed remote bombs. From this stockpile they plucked a single payload, burying it in a far away field. As they cowered in a ditch, Spleen pressed the detonator button. Yet after a moment, nothing happened. Confused, he stood up, pressing his button again and again until, finally, an explosion tore a hole in the field. Elated, Squee and Spleen turned toward home just as a massive wave of sound and force arrived to knock them over. Bewildered, their ears ringing from the unexpected blast, they gathered in the dingy miasma to see a smoking ruin where their workshop once stood. Chunks of wood and stone continued to fall as the yawning crater before them slowly deepened into an expanding pit. The whole of Dredger's Bight shuddered, and then gradually started to slide into the mines below as its panicked residents fled. Sitting at the edge of their sinking home they grinned and giggled, as giddy at the possibilities as they were oblivious to the scorn of their former neighbors. They wondered only one thing: how could they trigger an even bigger blast?"

    Land Mines: "The bane of Toterin!"
    Stasis Trap: "The scourge of Trapper Town!"
    Suicide Squad, Attack!: "What's this button do?"
    Remote Mines: "The downfall of Dredger's Blight!"
    Focus Detonate: "Why light one fuse when you can light them all?"
    Last edited by 1337_n00b; 08-29-2014 at 09:52 PM.
    Heroes this user should seriously reconsider ever picking again.

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  2. #2
    Basic Member Justinian of Hattes's Avatar
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    Very tongue-in-cheek with that first line. Other than that, meh. They're dicks who go around blowing everything up for kicks.


    "I'm all for moderation, but sometimes it seems, moderation itself can be a kind of extreme."

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